


Getting to know you

by lossit_bay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Autistic Character, Found Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lossit_bay/pseuds/lossit_bay
Summary: Minho has been noticing characteristics of Seungmin fit a pattern he's seen before and he wants to do whatever he can to help his bandmate be himself.orSeungmin has undiagnosed autism and his bandmates are nothing but supportive in learning more about how his brain works.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin & Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 66
Kudos: 397





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samira_ko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samira_ko/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to stress that this is fictional and I am emphasizing characteristics I can identify with as well as creating others. Should any member of Stray Kids have autism I am incredibly proud of them but I am not suggesting that they do.
> 
> That being said, enjoy the story and I hope it encourages people to consider that the actions you see in others may be the result of something you are not aware of and to treat everyone with as much consideration and kindness as you can
> 
> This has been edited quickly so let me know if there are any errors

Jisung was tired after a long day. His legs were shaky from practice and his brain was fresh out of coherent thoughts from writing with Changbin. He had been looking forward to an evening staring at the pretty colours of a cartoon and while there was barely a plot to follow he would have liked to be able to hear what the characters were saying. Jisung thought that wasn’t a lot to ask for but it was more than he was granted as Seungmin’s screams echoed through the dorm.

“KIM SEUNGMIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Jisung yelled from the couch, hoping to be heard without having to get up. He was going to have to restart this episode anyway.  
The screaming stopped suddenly and Jisung smiled smugly to himself as he rewinded to get fully immersed in the fantasy world.

“You know he’s stimming, right?” Minho interrupted him, wandering out of the kitchen.

“What?” What nonsense was his hyung on about now?

“Seungminnie’s noises.” Minho clarified, making nothing clearer for Jisung. “He’s stimming because he feels safe at home. You shouldn’t stop him.”

“What are you talking about, Hyung.” Jisung desperately wanted to zone out and watch his show and not play mind games with Minho.

“Seungminnie’s autistic?” Minho said like it was obvious.

It was not obvious. Jisung thought people with autism didn’t like loud noises and struggled in school. That didn’t fit Seungmin at all who was a successful idol while maintaining near straight A’s in school.

“No he’s not,” Jisung said. “He’s just being loud.”

Minho sat down next to him so they weren’t having this conversation across the living room. “I’m not sure. I don’t think Minnie knows himself but one of my friends from school has autism and Seungminnie is a lot like him.”

Minho did have a lot of strange knowledge and he wouldn’t lie about this kind of thing so Jisung decided to humour him.

“What do you think makes him autistic then?” Jisung asked.

“When he gets happy he flaps and does the ‘guahh’ thing. I’m pretty sure that’s him stimming because you can see he gets tense when he can’t do it. And I can see him really concentrating to get social cues right. He can’t read emotions well. You must have noticed that?”

Jisung shrugged. “He’s a little bit weird but we all are. That doesn’t mean he’s autistic.”

“Maybe not,” Minho agreed. “Look out for it though. If we can help, we should.”

When Minho left to go back to his room Jisung found he didn’t feel like watching his show anymore. He took out his phone and did what any good millennial would do in his situation- he googled it. While Seungmin clearly had no problems talking, a number of the other signs certainly applied.

Seungmin’s rules about his bed made a lot more sense in the context of sense sensitivity and Jisung couldn’t place a single time Seungmin had ever chosen to wear clothes with a harsh fabric. He’d complained when they were put in leather trousers for one performance while Jisung had thought it was cool to get a sexy concept. And ok, everyone had a hobby but Seungmin’s knowledge of the Day6 discography down to the chart rankings and even the colour of each single would qualify as obsession.

Jisung couldn’t tell if his thinking had been biased by Minho’s comment so he tried to apply the same criteria to Felix and then Minho and then Hyunjin and then himself and then-. Seungmin still matched the signs the most. Perhaps Minho was onto something.

He shot off a text to him asking what they should do now and headed to his room. Seungmin was sitting up against the headboard of his bed, invested in his phone, and Hyunjin and Jeongin were sprawled together on Hyunjin’s bed, half-heartedly doing homework together.

“Seungminnie,” Jisung started, he almost moved to sit on the middle of Seungmin’s bed so they would be facing each other but aborted the movement at the last second, remembering what he’d read. He was left standing awkwardly at the side of the bed.

“Seungminnie, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. That was mean.” Jisung said, staring at the ground.

“Which Hyung told you to say that?” Seungmin asked and when Jisung looked up he was frowning. “You never say sorry.”

“I do!” Jisung said quickly, trying to defend himself without starting an argument. Why was he so good at fighting and so bad and apologising?

“Not for this.” Seungmin pointed out. “I should be more quiet though, other people want to rest. I’ll try not to be loud again.”

Jisung really considered Seungmin’s words this time. He’d _try._ Seungmin couldn’t help getting loud if Minho’s guess was right. He needed it as an outlet as much as Jisung needed songwriting as an outlet for his overflowing thoughts. He’d hate for Seungmin to repress himself at home as well as at work just so Jisung could hear a cartoon properly.

“If you need to be loud for a bit, maybe do it earlier in the evening?” Jisung suggested as a compromise.

Seungmin frowned, not understanding where this sudden compassion had come from. “Ok,” he agreed warily.

“Jisung, stop playing mind games with Seungmin,” Hyunjin interrupted. He was lying on his side wrapped in his sheet like a roman emperor as he flicked through his textbook with disdain. “He’ll always win and then you’ll complain about it.”

“I’m not playing mind games and I wouldn’t complain.” Jisung said crossly. “I’m _trying_ to start less fights with my members, _Hwang Hyunjin.”_

Jeongin rolled his eyes. “We get it- you guys are living out the enemies to lovers cliche. Go have hate sex somewhere else.”

“I’ll have you know, Yang Jeongin,” Jisung started, catching Hyunjin’s grin in the corner of his eye. “This is our bed.” He waved a finger at the bed Jeongin was currently sitting on. “And if we were going to have hate sex anywhere it would be right here.”

“It’s a bunk bed,” Seungmin pointed out from behind him and Jisung gave him the finger goodnaturedly.

“Jisung just uses his bed for storage,” Hyunjin pointed out.

“This is true.” Jisung wasn’t ashamed, though Chan would like him to be. “Sometimes at night I also store my body there.”

“The rest of the time he’s having hate sex with me,” Hyunjin added with a smirk. He had his stage personality on, oozing confidence and sex appeal, and Jeongin looked appalled.

Jisung blew a kiss to Hyunjin and Hyunjin returned it, beckoning him close.  
The dynamic they had built when the walls of anger finally crumbled was exciting. There was no romance but also no boundaries and Jisung felt he could be himself completely without judgement. Through this they had discovered they were both needy bitches when it came to physical contact and pretty much nothing was off-limits. Well, Hyunjin didn’t seem to want Jisung to kiss him on the lips. A _damn shame_ in Jisung’s opinion because he had on the good authority of at least two 14-year-old girls that he was a great kisser and Hyunjin had some of the nicest lips he’d ever seen.

Jisung crossed the space between them two strides and ducked to fall into Hyunjin’s arms. Hyunjin rolled them backwards so their faces were hidden from view as he grabbed Jisung by the ass and made obnoxious moans while Jisung muffled his giggles into his shoulder. Seungmin threw a pillow at them and Jeongin loudly expressed his disgust, opting to retreat to Seungmin’s bed (with permission).

Jisung had just started to relax into a comfortable position on top of Hyunjin when his phone started to vibrate loudly in his pocket.

“Someone’s a little too excited,” Hyunjin giggled. Jisung rolled his eyes and wriggled to extract his phone and check the number before he answered. There was no way he was answering an unknown call and even some of his contacts disserved to go to voicemail.

It was Minho.

Jisung picked up. “Check my messages?”

 _“Check your messages.”_ Minho confirmed and swiftly hung up.

“I try and disconnect from technology for 10 fucking minutes,” Jisung grumbled and rolled off Hyunjin to better navigate his phone. Jisung didn’t pay attention to Hyunjin as he half sat up against the wall and pulled Jisung closer to hang off his shoulder. Hyunjin did it so often most of them didn’t even register the extra weight anymore. Jisung opened his messages and sure enough he had an unread thread from Minho as well as one from Chan and another from his mum.

Since Minho had called he would open that first, even though normally Minho would be lowest priority. Jisung had forgotten that the last thing he had sent Minho had been about Seungmin’s possible autism and that Minho would most likely reply on that vein.

Hyunjin made a startled noise in the back of his throat.

Minho’s messages read:

_Well, do you think telling Minnie we think he has autism will make things better or worse for him?_

_What if we’re wrong?_

_I’m not a doctor and you definitely aren’t_

_I don’t want to hurt his feelings_

_Jisung answer me_

_Jisungg_

_Should I tell Chan-hyung?_

“Not a word,” Jisung hissed to Hyunjin, trying not to attract attention. Considering Jeongin and Seungmin were pointedly ignoring them from earlier it went unnoticed.

“Minnie’s autistic?” Hyunjin whispered. “What does that mean?”

Jisung knew that Hyunjin wasn’t an idiot and it didn’t really surprise him that a rich kids private school in central Seoul had even less inclusivity than a rich kids international school in Malaysia. Jisung pulled up a tab from earlier on his phone and passed Hyunjin the high-functioning autism checklist. He had expected Hyunjin to read it quietly and make his own assessment of their friend but Hyunjin did nearly the opposite.

“Hey Minnie?” Hyunjin called out.

“Yeah,” Seungmin looked up from Jeongin’s homework.

“Do you know about autism?”

Jisung wanted to strangle Hyunjin on the spot. What part of incognito did he not understand? He’d literally _just_ read Minho’s concerns about bringing it up.

“Yeah, I was tested for it when I was younger,” Seungmin said nonchalantly. “Why?”

“What was your result?” Jisung found himself asking. Maybe they didn’t have to be sneaky about this at all.

“Not in range.” Seungmin said. He didn’t seem embarrassed at all which Jisung found strange considering how much he himself tried to avoid detection with his ADHD. “I didn’t have any learning difficulties and I could communicate fine.”

“What about high-functioning autism?” Hyunjin asked, frowning at the list on Jisung’s phone. “It says you don’t need to have intellectual disability.”

Seungmin held out a hand and Hyunjin threw the phone to him. Jisung would have protested considering it was his phone but both Hyunjin and Seungmin were better with hand--eye coordination than him. Jeongin tucked his chin over Seungmin’s shoulder as he read through the information.

“You flap when you’re trying to make a decision,” Jeongin pointed out quietly. Seungmin nodded and kept scrolling.

“Minho also said that the ‘GAH’ noises might be you stimming,” Jisung added. “He’s the one that noticed.”

“And told you off tonight?” Seungmin guessed, smiling to show he wasn’t annoyed about it.

“Yeah,” Jisung admitted sheepishly. “I thought you were just being annoying.”

“Maybe I am just being annoying,” Seungmin grinned. “I don’t match everything on this list.”

“You’re definitely annoying,” Jeongin muttered and predictably Seungmin turned to make a noise right in his ear. Jeongin was practically asking for it.

Before Jeongin could fight back the phone in Seungmin’s hand started ringing. Seungmin made eye contact with Jisung as he answered the call.

“Hello?... I know. Just come to our room.” He hung up and tossed the phone back to Jisung and Jisung fumbled, letting it fall down the back of Hyunjin’s bed.

“Minnnie~” Jisung groaned. “You’re getting that.”

“You’re the one that dropped it.”

“You threw my phone!”

“Would it kill you to go half an hour without starting a fight, Jisungie?” Minho said from the door.

Jisung stuck out his tongue in defiance. “He started it this time.”

Hyunjin produced Jisung’s phone and pulled his sleeve back down over his arm. It was red at the elbow from where he had jammed it between the bed frame and the wall to retrieve the phone.

“Happy?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung’s phone was cracked but no more than usual. Jisung took it and dropped it in his lap before taking Hyunjin’s hand and pushing his sleeve back up to inspect him for injury. Hyunjin had a tendency to brush off injuries, not wanting attention on himself he considered undeserved. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll decide that,” Jisung said. The skin was red but not bruised or broken. This time Hyunjin was telling the truth. Jisung ran his thumb over the marks before carefully pulling his sleeve back down.

“Jisung told you?” Minho guessed.

“Kind of,” Seungmin replied. “Hyunjin saw his messages and asked. I’ve had an autism test before, you know. The doctor said I didn’t have it.”

“A doctor misses a lot of signs you’re not going to show in an appointment,” Minho pointed out, carefully sitting next to him. “You don’t have to go again but we’re family so if there’s a particular way I can help one of you I’d like to know.”

Seungmin frowned down at his lap deep in thought and Jeongin used that pause to his advantage.

“Can you help me with my maths homework, Hyung? I keep getting integers wrong.” Jeongin pouted and Minho cooed, reaching out the stroke under Jeongin’s chin.

“No, why would I want to do that? Minho pulled a face only to drop it a second later as Jeongin’s hopefully smile fell. “Of course baby, I love maths.” Minho beckoned Jeongin who crawled over with his notebook.

“Who the fuck likes maths,” Jisung whispered none-to-quitely to Hyunjin.

“Weirdos,” Hyunjin whispered.

“Was that ‘I don’t need help with my maths anymore, Hyunjinnie?” Minho asked without looking up as he wrote.

“Oh no!” Hyunjin quickly denied. “I said ‘Wow, knowing maths is so sexy. I’m so lucky to have an amazing Hyung to help me.’”

“Suck-up,” Jisung scoffed.

“Dude, everyone is getting extra help at hagwon,” Hyunjin told him. “I literally have no idea what’s going on in class. Minho-hyung is the reason I’m passing.”

The hyungs had become a very low-resources hagwon all of their own, not that Jisung could help despite having technically graduated school already. Felix could at least assist somewhat on the English portion though Chan had pointed out that the sentence structure was nothing like what was used by native speakers in any situation.

Minho was their maths genius and Chan loved all science but they had both been high achievers and were reliable help on most subjects after a minute to refresh the material. They also had knowledge on subjects not at all on the Korean curriculum like Greek and carpentry so the school kids had to be very specific on what they wanted help on or they’d end up with a great education that would never appear on a test. Changbin hadn’t enjoyed school much and was less keen to teach but he was their most recent graduate and hadn’t forgotten quite as much of the key material as the older boys who didn’t use their school knowledge anymore.

Jisung liked to offer more practical advice such as ‘if you pick C now it will spell out ACDC’ and ‘I, personally, believe capitalism has greatly improved our country as a nation.’ Jeongin had ignored his suggestions on both accounts.

“I think I would like to get tested again,” Seungmin told the room. “Since I, uh, I’ve been doing things that aren’t normal.” He mumbled the end of his sentence nasally. Normally that’s when someone would echo his words as both a light-hearted teasing and to remind Seungmin to work on speaking clearly. This time nobody did.

“I resent the implication that I am normal!” Jisung said loudly to stop Seungmin getting embarrassed. “And Minho-hyung is extremely weird.”

Minho didn’t even try to deny it. “Normal is overrated.” He turned to Seungmin. “If you want to get tested that’s fine but know that we love all your quirks no matter what they are and you don’t need to hide them.” He stared Seungmin down until Seungmin nodded his agreement. “Good! Now who wants takeout? I’m hungry?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update when I said I would! I wasn't happy with what I'd written. I wanted to write this when I was in the mindset to really think about this. As there may be some consequences to the way I'm talking about autism on people's perception.
> 
> And for _some reason_ i was in a really good mood today and decided to sit down and work on this

“Do you want to tell the others when they get back?” Jisung asked Seungmin as they sat around impatiently waiting for their food. 

“Channie-hyung knows,” Minho said, not looking up from his phone.

“You told _Channie-hyung_ before me?” Jisung said, greatly offended.

“I knew the hyungs gossiped about us,” Hyunjin said smugly. “That’s why they go to the gym so much.”

“What? No, we go to the gym to work out,” Minho said, looking very confused. “Do you not know what gyms are for, Hyunjinnie?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “Lifting heavy things and doing press-ups. Dunno why you need to go to the gym to do that. You could do that here.”

“They have the rope thingies too,” Jeongin pointed out, lifting his arms and waving them like an energetic zombie. “And treadmills.”

“Fuck running,” Jisung said with feeling. Seungmin lifted a hand and they high-fived without looking. They all spent too much time together and the 00-line especially were developing a hive mind. “But Hyung,” Jisung continued. “Minho-hyung, why did you tell Channie-hyung before me? I’m your soulmate.”

“I didn’t tell him. Calm down, Sungie. Hyung looks out for Seungminnie, that’s all. Right, Minnie?” Minho said.

“I guess,” Seungmin said, unconvinced. “That’s what hyungs do.”

“What do we do?” Chan asks, throwing open the front door with perfect timing. He was wearing shorts and a muscle T with no regard for the weather he’d just walked though. The others that followed him shed full length parkas as they walked in the door and Changbin had to untangle Felix who was nearly suffocating with his scarf and facemask tangled together.

“You gossip about us at the gym,” Hyunjin said unhelpfully.

“I told you that’s not what we do at the gym,” Minho said exasperatedly. 

“Hyungs were lifting weights,” Felix said, hair still artfully swept to one side, not a drop of sweat on him. “And I was on the treadmill.”

“Fuck running!” Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jisung chorused enthusiastically. Either a hive mind or a single brain cell bouncing between their brains like an electron in a valence shell.

Felix frowned at them. “I wasn’t running. I was doing the moonwalk.”

“Have you ordered food?” Changbin asked, holding his damp fringe off of his forehead as he stood on one leg. He seemed to have frozen half way through several tasks. Jisung imagined himself giving Changbin a ninja chop to the neck. Task Manager: End all tasks.

He was so deep in his imagination that he missed the reply to Changbin’s question and possibly a good bit more of conversation after that. He was only pulled back to the present by Chan ruffling his hair.

“What universe are you in, Sungie?” the older boy teased.

“A better one,” Jisung replied. “I killed Changbin-hyung and stole all his lines and his bed.”

“That’s nice, sweetie,” Chan said. “Maybe leave that to alternative universe Jisungie, yeah?”

Jisung hummed noncommitedly. It was always good to keep your options open. “Are you going to have a shower, Hyung? You’re all sweaty.”

“I’m in the queue,” Chan assured him.

***

Jisung was halfway through a bite of curry when Seungmin made a noise at something Jeongin said and half the table froze.

“What is it?” Chan asked tiredly. He had been shovelling down the food so he could get back to work sooner but set down his chopsticks with a sigh. “Who broke something?”

“We didn’t break anything!” Hyunjin said happily. “...I think?” he added hesitantly.

Jisung watched Minho and Seungmin exchange a silent conversation with their eyes. He tried not to let the jealousy bubble. He thought he was the only one that could understand Minho well enough to do that.

“Seungmin might have autism. He’s going to ask to get tested at the next psych eval.” Minho said once Seungmin had given a decisive nod.

“Au..tism?” Chan asked. “I don’t know that word.” He looked around worriedly for help.

“Me either,” Felix chimed. His eyebrows drawn together over big blinking brown eyes. Who wouldn't want to help a face like that.

“It’s a, uhh, learning difficulty?” Hyunjin offered hesitantly. “Right?” His eye caught Jisung’s as he searched for confirmation and Jisung pulled back his chin, refusing to nod or shake his head. He didn’t feel knowledged enough to make that call despite having just read up on it.

“Yeah kinda,” Minho agreed. “Difficulty in social interaction.”

That seemed to spark something in Chan’s brain. “Oh! Oh, I know it, I know it,” he muttered to himself and pulled out his phone to translate it. _“Autism!_ ” he called in English and Felix’s face lit up in understanding.

“That would be very cool, Seungminnie.” Felix said seriously. “If you had an important brain.”

“I don’t think that important is the right word..” Seungmin said. Jisung knew he would be thinking of more negative words but he trusted in Felix’s sunshine personality and fumbled Korean to pull though. It did.

“Maybe that’s why you’re so good at hearing!” Felix said. Seungmin did not hid his disbelief in the slightest but Felix plowed on. “You hear music very well.”

“Your perfect pitch,” Chan saved Felix from his explanation and Felix nodded enthusiastically.

“Is that autism?” Seungmin asked shyly. 

Sometimes when Jisung sang idly Seungmin would correct him. “You’re flat,” he’d say, even though Jisung knew his intervals were perfect. And then Seungmin would sing a note slightly higher for Jisung to copy. It was always slightly more of a strain when he wasn’t in the key he was most comfortable with but without fail if he turned on the song, Seungmin’s note would be right. It was irritating in a competitive way because even when he thought he had the notes perfectly memorised he’d always be off. Seungmin was just so full of talent and he didn’t even boast about it which just made the rest of them look bad.

“People with autism are often musically gifted,” Minho said with a shrug. He and Chan were attempting to keep this conversation casual by continuing to eat but everyone else had long stopped so they could hear every word clearly. After all living together for a year and knowing each other much longer it wasn’t often you got this kind of revelation about one of your friends. It was like finding out they were gay, except Jisung was already pretty sure they were all at least a touch on the homosexual side.

“Add it to the list,” Seungmin said. “Sungie! Jisung are you paying attention?” Add ‘perfect pitch’ to the list,” Seungmin whined. Hyunjin echoed his nasal tone and laughed when Seungmin hit him.

“What list?” Jisung asked. _Was he in charge of something he didn't know about?_

“On _your phone_ ,” Jeongin prompted. The sass that child could fit into a single word was astounding.

“What-? _Oh._ The list I made?” Jisung realised. “That was just notes.”

“It was good notes,” Seungmin said. Jisung preened a little inside. “I need a list to take to my psych eval. Share it on the group chat so everyone can add to it.”

Jisung pulled out his phone and added the bulletpoint before copying it all to a shareable document and titling it ‘Day6 Sux’. Proud of his work, he carefully shared it in their group chat. He was immensely glad that they were all close enough to share this kind of personal information easily and he didn’t want to risk losing trust by sending it to the wrong chat.

Seven phone vibrated and Changbin eagerly picked his up, tucking Felix under his arm so they could both read what they had missed. In the time Jisung had spent editing though, the others had moved the conversation on. 

Chan and Minho were trying to schedule a time to go to the gym so that was not a conversation he wanted to join and Changbin had started grilling Jeongin on an upcoming geography he’d let slip in a conversation about school. Jisung was no expert but he was pretty sure ‘Does Australia or South Africa have scarier spiders?' was not in the national curriculum. It was making Jeongin smile though.

“Australia!” Hyunjin answered for him. “Definitely Australia!”

“Aussie Aussie Aussie!” Felix chanted quietly, not looking up.

“Oi Oi Oi!” they all paused to reply. Jisung hadn’t even realised his mouth was moving. Maybe Australian was infectious. He had been around Chan for a very long time.

“But does Australia or South Africa have scarier snails?” Jisung offered to the conversation. That would get them thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this is not the end of this fic but it might be a while again until the next chap
> 
> Let me know what you think of it or your experiences with autism, that would really help me personally and also for this fic


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! you didnt think this was gonna update again, did you?
> 
> ive had so many versions of this chapter and what it was going to cover and im still not happy with this one but its been too long so this is just whats happening now
> 
> its pretty jisung focused but I can get back to the plot later

Their next psych eval came sooner than anybody realised as Felix was called away from dance practice by their manager.

"That's today?" Jisung asked loudly. The significance of the meetings wasn't missed by his band mates but their choreographer was ignorant to the sudden tension in the room.

The meetings were normally pretty short.

_"Hello Jisung, how are you?"_

_"I'm fine."_

_"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"_

_"No."_

_"And how is your anxiety? Is there anything you’re struggling with at the minute?”_

_“No.”_

_“Anything uncoming about your schedule you’re anxious about?”_

_“No.”_

_“...Right. I’ll see you next month.”_

_“Yep. Thanks. Bye.”_

Five minutes and a tick in a box later he was back in practice. She was a nice enough woman and if he opened up she was great at her job but he preferred speaking to his hyungs unless it was something major. They were the ones that would actually have to help if his anxiety was worse anyway.

For Seungmin they had agreed to keep their meetings short this time unless they needed to talk about something. That way he could get as much of their allocated time slot as possible.

Felix was back within ten minutes, his face serious. He nodded to Changbin, the closest to the door, and the rapper left with their manager in his place.

"All good?" Chan asked cheerily, stretching his arms above his head.

Felix nodded and took his position. They ran through the dance twice more without music and if Jisung was being honest- it was bad. Seungmin was doing fine but the older members were visibly on edge and Jeongin was jumpy because of it.

"You boys aren't normally so sloppy," the choreographer noted mildly. He was one of JYP's in house choreographers and had worked with them several times before.

"Sorry Hyung," Chan apologised for them. "We'll try harder."

"I don't doubt you will," the choreographer said. "Why don't we take a five minute break?"

"Yes Hyung," Jisung mumbled and the others did the same. It wasn't subtle in the slightest as Chan immediately bee-lined for Seungmin. Jisung ambled over more casually when it became clear that their group huddle wasn't going to fool anybody.

"Minho-hyung," Seungmin was answering as Jisung joined them. Minho grinned like a cat that had gotten the cream.

"Ok," Chan replied, still out of breath from dancing. "Do you have everything you need?" he asked. "The notes?"

"I printed them off," Seungmin said calmly. "They're in a folder in my bag." Of course they were. Jisung was willing to bet the folder was labelled to.

“Right,” Chan said, more to himself than anyone else. “Do you want me to talk to the manager about it?”

“I’m fine Hyung,” Seungmin said. “Really. Nothing bad can happen.”

“Right.” Chan shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m just-”

“Being a Dad?” Jeongin finished for him, grinning cheekily.

“Being a _leader,”_ Chan corrected with a playful swipe at Jeongin’s arm. Jeongin was too tired from dancing to retaliate and tipped backwards into Hyunjin and from there it was a domino effect until they were all sprawled on the floor.

Changbin returned just before they got back to practicing and Minho hauled Seungmin to his feet.

“Come one, let’s leave these losers to get on our level with the choreo,” Minho said. “Maybe by the time we’re back Sung will have learnt how to do the turn without tripping over his own feet.” Minho winked at Jisung as he said that. The words were to distract Seungmin but the wink was to distract him and it was surprisingly effective as Jisung’s protest got lost between his brain and his mouth.

“...Hey!” he managed, a second too late.

Minho, just to spite him, crossed his legs and executed a _beautiful_ turn to face Jisung while he waited for Seungmin to get his notes. Jisung threw the empty water bottle in his hand at Minho’s face. Well, he had been aiming for Minho’s face. In reality the bottle barely grazed Minho’s shoulder. Seungmin passed behind Minho and stooped to pick up the bottle, throwing it straight back. Jisung twisted around reflexively to avoid it and though he was unsuccessful Seungmin hadn’t been aiming for his head and the bottle harmlessly bounced off his side.

“Hey! Jisung managed the turn!” Hyunjin called with mocking support from across the room where practice was starting up again. He’d messed up the turn _once._ _Once._ And yeah ok, he had fully decked it and lost a shoe in the process but these dancers could stop acting like they never fucked up.

“You know what-!” Jisung stomped across to his starting position and made eye contact with Hyunjin through the mirror. “I am _watching_ you, Hwang Hyunjin.” Jisung threatened.

“Enjoy the view.” Hyunjin smirked.

“I will!” Jisung retorted.

He was so fired up he didn’t realise Minho and Sengmin had left until his part came up and he had a break to look away from Hyunjin for a moment. Hyunjin had been infuriatingly perfect for the whole run through but Jisung had managed the turn _with_ his middle finger held up in Hyunjin’s direction so it was kind of even. The choreographer let it happen and the various other shit going down with the other members. He was a good guy and had recognised by this point that Stray Kids’ optimal workflow included competition and inhuman noises. Jisung wondered if that was why Seungmin’s potential autism wasn’t flagged up before- he was in an environment that welcomed stimming behaviour.

Jisung was so caught up in his thoughts that he completely missed his cue to rejoin the formation at the end of his part and Felix had to manhandle him to one side. Hyunjin’s threatening giggle echoed under the noise of various members beat counting and ad libbed screams.

“I WAS _THINKING_!” Jisung yelled to Hyunjin.

“Think about the choreo, Han!” their choreographer called out with an amused smile and Jisung guiltily smiled back before focusing again. He managed another three run-throughs of focused dancing before his mind started to wander again and he was booted out for his psych visit as Minho and Seungmin returned.

“Verdict?” Jisung asked Seungmin as they passed.

“Next week.” Seungmin dropped his folder back in his bag. “She’s gonna get a specialist in.” That made sense and it sounded like she had taken Seungmin seriously (who couldn’t when he had a folder) which was great too.

“Did you manage the turn, Hannie?” Minho asked teasingly.

“Of course,” Jisung replied. “I am beauty, I am grace, I’ll bitch slap Hyunjin in the face.” Jisung had thought this through and executed the turn to finish with the back of his hand inches from Minho’s cheek in demonstration of his beauty, grace and bitch slapping abilities.

Minho blinked twice and then grabbed Jisung’s hand and twirled him straight out the door of the practice room.


	4. Chapter 4

Jisung was a little ashamed to say he’d entirely forgotten about Seungmin’s test. He was reminded when Seungmin swung open the door to the studio 3RACHA was working in and announced “I’m officially weird!”

“Officially…? _Oh,_ your autism test,” Jisung mumbled in the hope his forgetfulness would go unnoticed.

“Yeah!” Seungmin grinned. “I’m officially weird.”

“That’s not-” Chan winced. “Seungminnie, sweetheart, you’re not weird. That’s not what this was for.”

“But I _am_ weird,” Seungmin said. He stepped into the room and let the door shut behind him. “I wasn’t doing things that were normal and now I have a _reason_ for why I’m not normal.”

Chan tugged on Seungmin’s hand until the boy was standing in front of him. “Did the doctor not explain to you that it’s a spectrum? And different processing isn’t bad or wei-”

“She said all that,” Seungmin said, pulling his hand back. “But there’s a list. Of things that are weird and I do enough of them to be officially autistic so I’m _officially_ weird now.”

Chan sighed. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. But we are going to talk later about it being _different_ , not weird.”

“Hmm,” Seungmin said, which meant ‘You are wrong but I don’t have time to destroy your reasoning right now.’

Changbin held out a hand for Seungmin to slap, ending that portion of the conversation. “Have you told anybody else? Your parents?”

“I’m phoning my mum at seven,” Seungmin replied. “She’ll be off work then.” Jisung would have called his mum the second he was done but Seungmin’s family operated differently. They seemed so organised and calm _all the time._ And around them Seungmin was too. Jisung found that more odd than Seungmin’s checkbox autism traits but he would never say so. “I’ve not told the others,” Seungmin continued. “I wasn’t sure where they’d be.”

“I think it’s lunch time for normal people,” Jisung offered. He’d woken up at 12 so he was still digesting breakfast. Chan and Changbin were at roughly the same stage of their days. “I’d try the canteen unless you’re keeping this just in our team.”

“Minho-hyung’s in the gym,” Changbin offered. “I think.”

“Ok,” Seungmin said calmly. “Bye.” And just like that he left again.

“I need to go find that specialist,” Chan said as soon as the door shut. He scrambled to save his files and zip his bag closed. “You guys can keep working, just work on a copy of the files if you change anything so you don’t accidentally delete stuff.”

“That was one time,” Changbin complained. He claimed Chan’s seat as soon as the older boy stood up, leaving Jisung the only one on a shitty cube seat.

“I’ll be back soon,” Chan said, remembering to pick up his phone at the last minute. “If anyone comes looking for me tell them to wait for me.”

“We should rename his files, hide them on his desk top and put a rick roll in their place,” Jisung suggested. If Chan didn’t trust them with his laptop he deserved a little heart attack.

“Already on it,” Changbin said, typing furiously.

***

It took Chan so long to come back they ran out of stuff to mess with and actually managed to get down most of the lyrics to a new song. Jisung was a little ashamed to say he entirely forgot about Seungmin’s test all over again until they were back in the dorm that night and Seungmin was stimming again.

“Guah to you too,” he told Seungmin seriously as he stepped around him in search of snack food. Seungmin was bouncing lightly on his toes with a smile a mile wide. “What are you excited about?”

“Dunno!” Seungmin said happily.

“We ordered takeout and Wonpil-sunbaenim posted on instagram,” Hyunjin supplied from the table. “And he _left me_ at dance practice today to go to his evaluation so he has too much energy.”

“I told you I had to practice early today,” Seungmin retorted. “If you’d gotten up earlier we could have gotten a full practice in.”

“You know I can’t wake up on my own,” Hyunjin whined.

“Is there enough takeout for me?” Jisung interrupted them before they bickered for the next half hour.

“Oh, definitely,” Hyunjin said. “We ordered from that place with the massive portions but I completely forgot about that so we could feed a small army.”

“Or like eight idols and a couple of managers?” Jisung guessed. He closed the fridge since nothing was looking appealing and sat down next to Hyunjin. Seungmin continued to bounce around the kitchen.

“Or that,” Hyunjin agreed. “Is Channie-hyung coming home any time soon? We need his stomach.”

Jisung laughed nervously. “Well he hasn't yelled at me and Binnie-hyung yet so he must be working on a new beat. When he runs out of ideas for that he’ll probably come home.”

“What did you do?” Seungmin asked excitedly. He loved fucking with people and Jisung was sure if he’d been there Chan’s laptop would be in a much worse state.

“Renamed his files and replaced them with decoys of the ‘Never Going To Give You Up’ audio file,” Jisung said proudly.

“Well, it was nice knowing you,” Hyunjin said, patting Jisung on the back. “Thanks for making me the main rapper now.”

“Have fun writing your own raps,” Jisung retorted.

Hyunjin wiggled his finger in front of Jisung’s face with a smug smile. “Nuh-uh. I know you have about two years worth of songs on Chan’s laptop and if I go on the notes section of your phone I’ll find another year’s worth of rap.”

“At least credit me,” Jisung replied.

“Lyrics by Han, 3RACHA. May he rest in fucking pieces,” Seungmin piped up. He’d bounced his excess energy out and Hyunjin pulled him down to sit in his lap.

“Are you all stimmed out yet?” Hyunjin teased him friendlily, hooking his chin over Seungmin’s shoulder.

Seungmin slapped his hands down on the table and hummed. “Dunno. I’ve never done it deliberately before.” He lifted his hands off the table and slapped them down again. “I feel better now but maybe I need a more effective method.”

“Minho-hyung might be able to help,” Jisung offered. He knew Minho had been researching quietly as much as he could because the older boy would sometimes call him over for a second opinion. Seungmin slapped his hands on the table a third time. “You like doing that,” Jisung noted.

“Yeah, but it’s loud,” Seungmin said. “It’ll start annoying someone.”

“In this household?” Jisung asked. “You’ll be fine. Does it have to be rhythmic or not? If it is I can get you and Jinnie to help me with a song and then you won’t be alone.”

Seungmin decided it could be rhythmic so Jisung taught him and Hyunjin different parts of the beat he was working with and practiced his rap over it. They quickly caught the flow and hyped him up with whoops and echoed words. Felix came out of his room a little later when they had moved onto their published discography and joined in. That was how Chan found them, banging on the table and singing at the top of their lungs, having a great time.

“Sung,” he said without raising his voice over their racket. Jisung still heard him.

“Remember you love me,” Jisung said quickly. The noise around him died down as the others recognised that Chan wasn’t in the playful mood.

Chan looked at Jisung, unimpressed. “Where are my files?”

“Why? Could you not find them?” Jisung asked innocently. He blinked his eyes as wide as he could and tilted his head in a way he knew made him look cute.

Chan lifted his hand and Jisung flinched before he realised that Chan was putting his bag on the table. He took out his laptop and booted it up. “Fix it.”

“Binnie-hyung!” Jisung called as he looked at Chan’s generic background. He _mostly_ remembered where the files were but Changbin was better at both organisation and memorisation than Jisung.

“Hi, Hyung,” Changbin said when he saw Chan. “You’re home early.”

“Just in time for dinner!” Hyunjin said quickly and distracted Chan with the tale of his mishap with the ordering to give Jisung and Changbin time to reverse their prank. It was easy enough once they found the missing files. Each file name had just had ‘original’ tacked on the end of it so they left them as they were and returned them to the folders they had been in before, removing the decoys.

Chan didn’t even get back to his laptop until much later that night because the food arrived and he decided it was the perfect time to have a chat with Seungmin about being ‘weird’. Seungmin reluctantly agreed to stop calling his autism ‘weird’ and explained that ‘high-functioning’ was an out of date term too. Jisung just knew he was going to forget that at some point but at least Seungmin wouldn’t take offence- he knew how terrible Jisung’s sieve memory was. Already Jisung had missed a good portion of the information given because there was fried chicken and limited quantities of it but he tuned in when the conversation turned to operational changes.

The specialist that had come in to test Seungmin had suggested additional structure in their work to reduce stress for Seungmin and the managers had agreed to provide their full schedule a week in advance if possible, being released every Friday. Seungmin’s future stage outfits would also be designed with textural sensitivity in mind but most other things they found they already accommodated for. Hyunjin was actually more of a picky eater than Seungmin was and when abroad they tried to always have a Korean food option so that covered aversion to certain food textures and flavours. It was just good sense to have familiarity when they were performing and foreign food could mess with their digestion. Seungmin also already had a nightly routine they were used to, though Jisung could probably work on his sensitivity to it, and Seungmin could talk about Day6 whenever he liked because Day6 _was_ a great band and learning more about your seniors was never a bad thing. The only other major thing that was new was the stimming and Seungmin had been doing that before, just unconsciously. Now they just had to be mindful and help Seungmin stim when he needed to without getting embarrassed about it. Jisung already had that one in the bag.

Getting their schedule in advance turned out to be great for everyone and Jisung couldn’t thank Seungmin enough. Now he could see which days would allow for inspiration at 3am and which ones he should start to wind down early so he wasn’t constantly running on low sleep. Even _Chan’s_ sleep schedule improved. There were other unforeseen benefits too. Seungmin got allowances for certain things but he wasn’t favourised. Instead they ended up just giving everyone the same allowances so when Jisung offhandedly said ‘can you guys be quiet?' on a car ride home everyone just _was._ They were more aware of each other's behaviours too now from watching out for signs Seungmin needed to stim. Felix handed Jeongin a snack before he'd even realised he was hungry and Minho noticed when Changbin had a mild strain in his leg and was hiding it. Their manager joked that they knew each other better then they knew themselves but it was almost true. Jisung had no idea what he had for breakfast but he could tell you that Hyunjin had made a smoothie and Minho had toast. Hyunjin had given a warning before he put on the blender because it made an unexpected loud noise and Jisung had taken Minho's toast out of his mouth to get him to sit down to eat it instead of wandering about with it held between his teeth doing a string of other tasks.

Jisung lay down on the matting on the floor of their dressing room and thought hard. What _did_ he have for breakfast? He couldn't remember so it must have happened on autopilot or someone else had just given it to him.

"What did I have for breakfast?" he asked aloud.

"Cereal," Jeongin replied.

"Coco Pops," Felix added. "I drank your milk." So he had. Jisung was indifferent to it and he wasn't really one to drink his cereal milk but Felix loved the taste and would hover nearby if you were nearly finished a bowl, looking hopeful. Jisung always gave him his. Then he didn't have to do the washing up.

Jisung rolled over and poked Chan on the leg. "We're nearly out of Coco Pops, he said when Chan took out an airpod to hear him.

"K, I'll put it on the list," Chan mumbled. "Can you come listen to this?"

Jisung got to his feet with a groan and spotted Seungmin crossing the room to bother Jeongin as he did so. Jeongin pushed Seungmin away without looking up from his phone and clearly stated that he wanted Seungmin to go away. Seungmin tried again. Jeongin grabbed his wrist this time and instead of pushing Seungmin away he started to flap his arm.

"You need to stim," Jeongin said matter-of-factly, still focused on his phone. Jeongin was unexpectedly the best at adapting to Seungmin’s diagnosis and Jisung wondered if it was because he has the most experience with unfiltered Seungmin as the maknae. As Jisung watched Seungmin sat down next to Jeongin and just stared at their maknae quietly while Jeongin flapped his hand. Jeongin’s technique had worked perfectly and he hadn’t even looked up to execute it.

“Jisung,” Chan called and Jisung realised he’d left Chan waiting.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, sitting down next to Chan and pressing their sides together as he took the offered airpod to listen to Chan’s track.

“What were you thinking?” Chan asked quietly, amusement colouring his voice.

“I just- I thought I knew our team really well by now but I don't think I do anymore.” Jisung said. He felt dissatisfied with that answer. Maybe if he wrote a whole song he could describe the feeling better.

"Ah you've reached Stage Three," Chan said sagely, patting Jisung on his stiffly styled hair. Jisung had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. "You won't ever stop learning things about us. I think that's pretty amazing, don't you?"

Jisung thought back to when he first met his team members and how much of them was unknown to him then. He'd thought Chan was terrifyingly cold but now he knew Chan as one of the giggliest people he'd ever met, and Jeongin was growing up right in front of his eyes. If there was even a fraction of the amount of things he knew about Stray Kids left to learn he would wait eagerly to get to know them better.

"It's pretty amazing," Jisung agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was a good representation of autism. It was the topic of the fic but I tried not to make it the arc if that makes sense? Diagnosis doesn't change who someone is as a person so I wanted just to have a small shift in the way things were viewed and treated. And being understanding with people's differences is helpful to everyone (life is a spectrum, kids) so I tried to have that in there too. Let me know your thoughts on it and if you think I should have included something important since I dont have 1st hand experience of the process
> 
> thanks for reading and keeping this fic going ^^ i hope you enjoyed it


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